They weren’t there!

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.

A representative from India began: ‘Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named.

When Rishi Kashyap struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, ‘What a good opportunity to have a bath.’

He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.

When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani had stolen them.

The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and in support of Pakistan , he shouted, ‘What are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren’t there then.‘

The Indian representative smiled and said, ‘And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.’

Define evil

This one is is again from another blog, but it’s awesome.

Suppose a stranger starts beating you with a stick for no reason other than his own entertainment. He’s got you cornered, and no one is around to help. Luckily for you, he loses his grip on the stick, and drops it. You grab his stick, and without it the stranger can’t stop you from escaping.

Are you evil for ruining his fun and stealing his stick for your own selfish happiness?

It seems like a stupid question, but based on the comments to yesterday’s blog, many of you think the stick stealer is evil and has oppressed the assailant who was minding his own business beating you to death.

For example, several people said cigarette smokers are being oppressed by non-smokers, presumably for banning smoking in public places, and that this oppression qualifies as evil. Clearly the non-smokers are taking away rights from smokers, for their own selfish purposes, just like the guy who stole the stick. But is protecting your health evil?

For the complete post, click here http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2008/01/define-evil.html

brilliant!

 This is the best marketing strategy I have ever seen. Click http://youthcurry.blogspot.com/2008/11/ideas-are-everywhere.html for the original post.

My Super Ex-Hostel

The year was 1932, when 3 of our greatest martyrs laid down their life to inspire a whole generation of youngsters to put their nation above everything else. And what a response there was. Hundreds of young men and women took to the streets, leaving behind their bound lives’ and fighting with a new vigour that was never seen before. Thousands of people were jailed day after day after day until finally………………………..they ran out of jails. The only solace they had was that they had friends who were suffering for the same cause as them.

I know, I know. Now you would expect me to say that Coral was one of the jails built during the British era. Not that I am ruling out the possibilty, but I am simply trying to make a different point. That even today the fate of people who leave all their fun behind and fight is not very different. I will summarise my life at Coral here.

One look at this building and you will guess the standard of the Civil Engg. dept. here. Have you ever seen a 100×40x20 m^3 box. That is exactly the kind of thing we are talking about. 4 people in one tiny room fighting for space as if they were part of an experiment to prove Darwin’s “survival of the fittest”. 2 chirkut windows make you have to fight for wind too. Not to mention a toilet per student ratio of less than 1:10, with most of the flushes not working. Now add the followig to the already delicious recipe and what have you:

a wing where 75% people are happy and gay to be…….oops!

a joker and a penguin for roommates.

a senti and a mental as frequent visitors, forever debating about hindi vs. english entertainment.

4 days water cut in summer.

All I can say in the end is, just as for our freedom fighters, it does help that others are suffering with you for the same cause. Thanks to all those guys who made it bearable.

And did I mention there being no net or lan? Oh, chuck it. This post has the potential to be endless.

My Super Ex-Roommates

There are 2 guys I will be talking about. We’ll see Hardy (the fatter guy) first and Laurel later.

Right. Now, I honestly believe Johny Bravo stands in a league of his own (you deserve it, DUDE).He’s just the guy you need to see when you’re depressed. One look at his face and you think “I must be happier than him”. He’s probably the only guy in the world who could behave in any 1 of the following ways, forget all:

burst with joy on getting a girl’s number, and show it.

call a round table conference of all friends and discuss what to type in “that first message”.

neglect all advices and send her a message asking “how was your test” and end it with “if you don’t like it, i will never message you again”.

beg your friends to send her a rose on V-day in your name. later get cold feet and shout “it was all his plan”.

carry her on your head and then complain “who do you think you are to sit here?” send her an sms regarding the same.

reject her orkut friend request on the above grounds. change your orkut name to “wasted 16 days for s”

waste 2 hours of your friends’ time to justify that you did it all to improve your communication skills.

send her a friend requst yourself……………………….tell her you didn’t mean any of it!

Maybe Will Smith will choose him as a co-star in case there is a sequel to Hitch. Meanwhile, Johny’s had more milestone experiences looking for a partner.

There’s a lot more about this guy, like his Super Ex-Orkut Profile. To summarise:

about me: I want to be cool but now I realise that I am ok as such.

passions: I want to be a teacher in Bansal classes.

movies: all the movies of srk.

idea of a perfect date: to share each others views (as if you had any) with a cup of tea (sasta aur tikao).

from my past relationships I have learnt that: tis better to have loved and lost

                                                                        than to never have loved at all.

A few of these samples can still be found on his profile.

He can also be “threatening” at times which is shown by the following scrap he sent me:

tune bongo babu ki friend ko chura liya, main tujhe chhodunga nahi kutte.

We move on to Sleeping Beauty, who must be losing sleep nowadays in order to slap his juniors enough, I suppose. I wish he applied his trademark “ichcha nahi ho rahi” here too, but then, MP ki unity aur parampara nibhane ke liye kya nahi karna padta. After all, its for their own good, nahi to sir ko Google mein jaate dekhte reh jaoge. Place hona hain ki nahi?  We could actually use your ragging style as a tourist attraction, you know, like a man sitting on a bed of nails. This is actually tougher. You’ve got to tell them “mazaa aa gaya, sir!”.

The techniques used by this great son of Mother India (and his forefathers) were derived by taking the core principle of every martyr. baap makes betas run a race, slaps the winner and then teaches him the importance of unity, so that everybody runs together in the next race. That takes care of Gandhiji’s soul. And the perseverance you show in getting in those slaps should make Bhagat Singh proud of today’s youth. So if TOI comes out with something like (B)eat India, you should know better than to take part, for the eventual winners are surely these guys.

So that’s it for now. Next blog: My Super Ex-Hostel.